Death In The Family

by Gardens

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1.
01:21
2.
3.
4.
05:24
5.
04:29
6.
03:44
7.
05:09
8.
03:30
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10.
04:14
11.
04:08
12.
05:06

credits

released November 25, 2014

Produced, Engineered, and Mixed by Ryan "Rings" Ellery at The Panda Studios. Mastered by Piper Payne at Michael Romanowski Mastering.

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Gardens Chicago, Illinois

Gardens is a band from Illinois. Quiet people playing loud music. A reflection in temporary solitude.

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Track Name: Inside A Bad Dream
I'm covered in cold
Not everything turns to stone
You saw the first snow
And said that our bodies lie alone

A troubled mind
I'll be alright here
If there's a light
Burning through so clear

And this was never a conversation
You held me down
And said there's something after this
My head is spinning and I can't see it
We're only ghosts inside a bad dream

It's taking a toll
This conscience is losing hold
Of what's left of this home
You told me I could feel again
You told me I wouldn't notice
And all this sorrow is temporary

Oh, can you keep an eye on me
And, tell me when I start losing touch
Track Name: Keeping My Distance
Are we so far
Are we so far gone
Losing track of where you are
In the empty space you lean on

There's a stirring in your head
A worry and a tangle
I've been turning in my bed
And hoping I can stay warm

Finding safety in company
I'm taking part in it
Spend the night in a hospital
Keeping my distance

It's tearing you apart
Your eyes are getting tired
But we're waiting on a weak heart
They might set the room on fire

And when it's time to come home
We'll be watching from the windows
And we'll be moving so slow
Tie our hands in such a loose hold

Finding safety in company
I'm taking part in it
Spend the night in a hospital
Keeping my distance
Track Name: Sleep
Your calloused hands on filthy necks
I saw same in my own head
And your stomach is empty
Like the gun that's in your hands
It's in your hands

I saw you sitting with a ghost
Your hands are wrapped around it's shoulders
And it's cold like this summers been
But it's calm like it was
Like it was

Your bitter roots are set in deep
Your arms are growing poison leaves
I feel the dark that's in your sober eyes
I saw your name on a sign
A month before you died

The house is burning down with no one inside
And you hold it in
Just like the way that you would try to pretend
That your fine again

And you won't
Say another word
And the winter's coming still
So sleep, yeah sleep
I hope there's room for me when I get there

The house is burning down with no one inside
And you hold it in
Just like the way that you would try to pretend
That your fine again
Track Name: Winter
The winter's holding on
And I'm letting go much quicker
Than I thought I would

And it's settled in my home
Through the open doors and windows
And the cracks I left exposed

And my mouth is frozen shut
And the words that I would like to speak
Are keeping warm inside

I'm choking on my solitude
And what's left unsaid isn't lost on you

Through the haze that's on my breath
Everything looks different

And I'm starting to see ghosts
In the salt stains on my clothes

And if we make it to the spring
This will melt away with everything

I'm stretched too thin for my worn out skin
And we'll make it this time but not again
If I spoke too soon, then tell me now

If I'm where I should be
Then why can't I see motion
We take, take our time
I can see this from both ends
Track Name: Lost At Sea
I'll find a place that I could go
I'll find a place that I could stay
But I don't want to be alone
The darkest place that I could be

Lost at sea
Lost at sea
Lost at sea

I'm finding solace in the waves
Cause there's a comfort in losing control
And there's a wind that's moving west
I feel a tide pulling in my chest

Lost at sea
Lost at sea
Lost at sea
Track Name: I'm Not Here
I swear I keep seeing
A ghost in the corner
And I've waited it out
But the tension goes on
Quietly listen
And hear the house breathe
And longer grows the silence
Longer grows the silence between

If I carry this out
The guilt would rest in my hands
And the way that you say
There's no cure for this disease
You're alright
You're on fire

This could've been sacred
But it was a dream
This house wasn't built
To be torn at the seams
Understand that I lie
And my words are a vapor
But you're standing in the doorway
Standing in the doorway between

If I carry this out
The guilt would rest in my hands
And the way that you say
There's no cure for this disease
You're alright
You're on fire

Say, say I'm not here
But only if you notice
I've been saying all the right things
Saying all the right things now
Have I put myself together
Put myself together enough
Track Name: En Route
Got your flowers in the back seat
On the drive home
From a hospital run
Got the call

As you were passing by
The old church
With an empty lot
And your mind raced back

To that summer
You were sitting in your backyard
With a business card in your hand
And your doorbell rang

So you stand up
And hear your mother's voice from the hall
Were you expecting anyone

And your fingers grip
On the open door
And the house was dark
Only the natural light that lingers
It's strangely dim
But you turn your eyes
And you see him there
He came exactly
When he told you he would

There was something different
In the way he spoke
While you tried to mask
The smell of smoke

For the last time
With your tear filled eyes
When you promised him
That you would never
Touch the bottle again

You were on your knees
In the living room
And saw your brother looking down
From the stairs

Had the year books out
Sifting through each page
When he asked
"How could I ever be forgiven"

It's a bitter thing
But I'm getting there
I don't call myself a saint
But I believe that
We're all on our way
From a darker place
And the road is long
But it's a burden
That I hope I can bear

It's a bitter thing to forgive
We're all on our way
From a darker place
It's a bitter thing
We're all on our way
We're all on our way
Track Name: Better Off
Stop on the drive
It's poorly timed
I'm buying you your cigarettes

Mid afternoon
Alone in the room
You're calling like you always do

"We have some bad news
Another to lose
Don't want to make you have to choose"

"They did everything
But all the same
Everything must fade away"

She is better off
She is better off
What about me?
If I had been around
Would I still feel responsible?

Your name is inscribed
You'll stay in my mind
The same way that you always were

Open and free
Like I want to be
But I'm lost inside a guilty mind

She is better off
She is better off
What about me?
If I had been around
Would I still feel responsible?

You were barely hanging on
I knew better than to leave
And I never said goodbye
But I hope that you forgive me
Track Name: Short Thread
Blurry eyes
All the walls
Are painted white

All in light
The sun washes
An empty night

There's a hole
In the window shade
There's a gap
In the clarity

Hard to find
A picture of
A better time

I'm on the outside
Swimming in my head
I'm coming untied
Pulling a short thread

Hold a light
For my eyes
Feel the warmth
Drift inside

There's a cold
In my lungs again
There's a tear
In my consciousness

When I try to pull
Myself together
And come around

I'm on the outside
Swimming in my head
I'm coming untied
Pulling a short thread
Track Name: Architect
You're lying unconscious
Your chest bursting out
You looked like my father
But less familiar

Your body was aging
But your spirit's young
Your heart just grew tired
And it never did forgive your lungs

And I can't believe I'm hearing this
But I've felt this pain before

I never had listened
To this voice I've heard about
If I lose you in anger
I think that I'd be missing out

If your brother could see you
I know he'd welcome you home
From the back of that ambulance
With a certain name left on your lips

If I knew that I could see you again
I swear I'd have much more to give
And we can build a house from all of your plans
Where our family could live

If I could hold it again
All the love that I have lost
If I could hold it again
All the love that I have lost
It'll never be, the way that it was
It'll never be, the way that it was

Yeah your life will never leave you again
Yeah your life will never leave you again
Yeah your life will never leave you again
Yeah your life will never leave